If you're up at the Safeway this afternoon after 3 UPDATED

then bring an extra fiver.

I'll be working the Salvation Army Christmas Kettle up there and I'm willing to do most anything to get some extra cash for those for who life hasn't been so great this year.

UPDATE: 

Ok, so it dawns on me halfway through my shift that I've only taken in two dollars so far and all the mad grinning I'm doing from ear to ear isn't helping. Sheesh this is a tough gig, income wise.

And forgive me dear reader, but I started to wonder if it would be better to have a shorter person standing there. And a more feminine, softer version of my bell ringing self. Someone who smiles more naturally, with teeth and everything.

Well, as my shift ended, a young lass showed up to take over for me. She was short, somewhat pretty and exhibited a great smile.

Now I was curious so after I had run some errands for the next hour I walked past where she was standing with the kettle and dear reader you wouldn't believe it. My three dollars had grown and multiplied to more than five fivers and a whole bunch of change covering the bottom of the bowl.

Wow.

My conclusion is that tall, dark people like myself should be the counters of the money, and you short pretty ones out there should be the bell ringers.

Hey what can I say, it's for charity.