Thursday, November 01, 2007

one step forward, two steps back

progress is made and progress is lost.

In parenting, relationships, and work, which seems to be all that my life consists of lately.

Trying to live life in balance, when some days balance cannot be found.

Tonight's meditation for prayer was this:

It is a difficult
lesson to learn today,
to leave one's friends
and family and deliberately
practise the art of solitude
for an hour or a day
or a week.
For me, the break
is most difficult ...


And yet, once it is done,
I find there is a quality
to being alone that is
incredibly precious.

 



Life rushes back into the void,
richer,
more vivid,
fuller than before!

Anne Morrow Lindbergh


I'm still up at 11:40pm because I am waiting for the house to settle down and I am looking for a brief few moments of this solitude.

Last night I was in bed reasonably early, but for whatever reason I couldn't sleep. The more I tossed and turned, the more agitated I became until I finally got up and went to the living room. Around 2:30 I was ready to sleep, and as I hit the pillow, I slept. Looking back now I wonder if it was the solitude I was after.

“In silence you leave the things of the world for the things of God. In solitude you leave the things of God for God alone.”

I can't "Do" solitude when there are other people around, which I suppose is a bit of an oxymoron. But I can't. Especially when there are things to leave with God. Children, relationships, and work.

I realized lately that this is one of the things that keeps me balanced and rooted, solitude.

And that's what I'm doing up late on a Thursday night in November.

3 comments:

  1. I can totally relate. A person sometimes subconsciously requires that solitude in order to refocus and maybe even find a little bit of who they are again after having themselves overwhelmed with the expectations of others.

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  2. "In solitude you leave the things of God for God alone." I love that.

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  3. I had a hard time sleeping too (for different reasons completely...snoring husband and teething baby that just...won't ...sleep...).

    We should start an insomniacs club! ;)

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