Friday, June 23, 2006

Dying Sucks.

Not the actual moment of death, for that is a Holy moment. A transition of all things from this life in which we see only dimly, into a reality that is even more pure than anything ever experienced in this world.

No, it"s the walk to the door that is the troubling thing.

People stand around your bed, watching you struggle with this battle which everyone knows you will loose.

All dignity is lost as you struggle to do things you"ve been doing since you were three years old. Now you need help with everything. Absolutely everything.

You make a joke now and then to cut the tension, to try and lighten the mood. After all, you've been thinking deeply about this day for a long long time. While others have denied, you have faced it, with a calm peace.

You wonder if you"ve taken care of everything. In a urgent moment of recall, you remind your family of important papers that will need their attention.

And the fight, the constant fight these bodies go through just to live. They have been trained for years to fight to live, and now their training comes into play. They just don"t quit, even at the pain and great discomfort of the individual, they just don"t quit.

And in the end it is the one who is leaving who fights alone. No one can fight for them, they must fight alone. The others can go home to safe beds and life knowing in some part of themselves that it is not yet their turn to go. This dying is a lonely business, an individual journey we all walk through by ourselves.


"O Lord, support us all the day long of this troublous life, until the shades lengthen and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then Lord, in your mercy, grant us safe lodging, a holy rest and peace at the last; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, one God forever."

Amen.

2 comments:

  1. [...] I must agree with Randall’s post. My grandmother has been struggling for years now and so many times we thought it was her time to go home. She has struggled most severely in the last few months. She had been diagnosed with a disease of the veins that was limiting her circulation and would result in gangrene unless she had the affected limb amputated but they didn’t believe she had the strength to survive the two hour trip to Regina for the operation so the choice was to keep her comfortable. [...]

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  2. My heart goes out to you Randall and your family. I don't know why the post I put on my blog appeared as a comment on yours, but I did link to it in my post as it is a similar situation.

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