You are wondering where I am these days

I am fine. Finer as the Day approaches. The work is busy and there are many opportunities to care. Yet time is limited.

Some of the children are fading fast, into colds and coughs and cranky-ness. Lauralea is holding down the fort, baking herself crazy, earning a bit of cash to help with the season. And I am coming and going, running too much on my schedule it seems.

This season is always a bit challenging to me. It's a work intensive time for retail workers and pastors, and this year for elections Canada workers too it seems.

I think the UltraRev says it fairly well, and his last line is a rebuke and reminder:

"If you are one of these "pastors working overtime to cultivate faith", get your butt home to your family before you don't have one. Turn off the cell phone and unplug the land line if need be. Stop deluding yourself into thinking it's right and won't harm anyone. It's not right. It will harm you and might harm others. Take a Sabbath and consider it a gift from God."

This morning I met with a pastor friend and we were talking about solitude. We feel guilty when we claim it for ourselves, yet it seems so rejuvenating, so life giving and restorative to us. He too has some expectation from people on where and when to be at certain places during this season. And it drains him, as it does me, this being with people constantly.

Last night I began reading Henri Nouwens's Genesee Diary, in which Henri becomes a Trappist monk for seven months. He feels he needs it because he's come to the place in his life where he's talking about prayer more than he's practicing it. He telling people to connect with God more than he himself is connecting with God. He's come to the point where he can't trust his motives any longer. As any follower of God should know, this is slippery ground.

He retreats to the monastery and finds levels of solitude that renew and restore him. As he reminds himself and us, over and over, it's that place of solitude and quiet that allows one to live and speak with clarity into other peoples lives.

Indeed. The busier I get, the less I have to give. Simple as that.

I believe it's Eugene Peterson who says this pastor sometimes appears lazy, but he's not. I hate lazy, especially in myself. So I tend to error on the side of caution, and work and work. I am better at it now than I was when I was younger, but days like these remind me that that demon barks at my heels too often...

Anyway, all that to say, solitude = good. Take time for family and fun and play.

And thanks for checking up on me.