It's been an interesting week around the house what with the kids being on Easter break
Hillary's off finding her independence down in California and Mexico. Johanna's off to Saskatoon for a few days to hang out by herself and shop for a grad dress. Micah's stayed the night at friends, and Thomas is coming and going as he wishes.
It's a precursor of sorts.
Within a very short time frame, they will gain that which they have been pushing for all these years, their independence. From the time when Hillary didn't want to eat the green stuff in little jars, to the times Thomas though it fine to walk to school at -25C with just a jacket, no mitts or toque or boots, Lauralea or I made the final decision.
Soon they will make the final decisions, from what to eat to what to wear.
Of course we've been training them all these years, trying to help them learn how to make choices that are wise and good. And some of them love the chance to make the decisions, while others of them occasionally struggle with such power.
And to that end we encourage them and pray for them. But we've also realized that one of the things they've needed in their lives, is parents. Not another set of friends or buddies. They, we, need parents. People who will love us come HOHW. People who will train us and teach us and do the difficult thing with us when it's needed, just because it's needed.
Yes, the relationship will certainly change over the years, but we all need a parent, even if she is old and lost in the fog of Alzheimers. Even if he struggles with the ability to express love to you, we need them. Parents show us how to live, and will one day show us how to die.
This is amazing, but they are God's true gifts to us. Perhaps we shouldn't be too quick to abdicate that place in our child's life and replace it with a friend-ship. Yes, you can and should one day be friends, but not at the expense of being a dad, or a mom first.
Sorry, I'm starting to preach. (but heh, I'm a preacher, it's what I do!)
Anyway, like I started to say, this week is turning into a picture of Lauralea's and my future. And I like what I'm seeing, kidwise.
Looks like it will begin shortly. Johanna received word yesterday that she's been awarded a scholarship for a five week course in french studies, in Winnipeg, starting July 3.
This is getting interesting.
Thanks for the advice, Preacher Man. I'm just starting out, but I need to hear these things. Even now, it's sometimes too tempting err on the nice-guy, buddy, buddy side rather than being Dad, in everything--discipline and friendship--that it entails.
ReplyDeleteTell me about it!
ReplyDeleteBut along with learning to drive, Ben's done some things over the last couple of weeks that give me confidence he can carry that responsibility. It was interesting that one of the prophetic words that he received prior to being baptised was that he'd be a Christian 'father'. Not immediately, but in a couple of years time. I think he's receiving the shaping for that now.
There's plenty of Good things in Sarah's life too, but they're less pointed and less discussable right now.