Thursday, February 24, 2005

"If I grow up, I wanna be a Plumber..."

I once was in a neighbouring church for a meeting, and as I left I saw a handout the church board had prepared for the church. They were in the process of searching for a pastor, in fact, they had been searching for a long time. As I read it, I learned why. They were looking for a pastor with the qualifications of Jesus Christ, (and even if they got him, I doubt he would have lasted very long!!)


Toni directs us to a list of qualifications which is done in fun. Still, through the fun, there is a glimmer of truth to it. He quotes CMF CoffeeShop:



A recent survey compiled all the qualities that people expect from the perfect pastor:


~ Preaches exactly 12 minutes.


~ Frequently condemns sin but never upsets anyone.


~ Works from 8 a.m. until midnight and is also a janitor.


~ Makes $60 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $80 a week to the poor.


~ 28 years of age and has been preaching for 30 years.


~ Wonderfully gentle and good-looking.


~ A burning desire to work with teenagers, but is always with the senior citizens.


~ Makes 15 daily calls to church families, visits shut-ins and the hospitalized, evangelizes the unchurched, and is always in the office when needed.


I'd add to it;


"Spends 6 hours on his knees in prayer, every day"


"Would never use the words "Sit Down" and "Toilet" in the same sentence!"


"Has 5 kids, but has never had sex."


 


So, in a lame attempt to get our heads out of the toilet, (Although I don't think that discussion's over yet!)  what would you add to a list of things a pastor should and shouldn't do??


Go ahead, have fun with it. You know you want to.

9 comments:

  1. A pastor should be well read, and continue to do lots of reading, but he should never be seen reading, because that's not what he's paid for.



    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. The pastor's sermon should speak to each and every parishioner's specific needs and questions, each and every Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The pastor should be human: have a sense of humour, have normal bodily functions, etc. But he should never joke around or talk about natural, everyday, human processes...



    I'm sorry...I couldn't hold it in anymore (again, no pun intended)!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...a pastor should never, in his youth, put his little sister up on his feet and hurl her through the air with a good kick, and then after breaking her arm, hide her in the basement so he wont get into trouble from his father.........

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  5. uh Robyn, Randall has told us MANY stories of his 'growing up' years, those times when he heard God speak.. when he..oh never mind, but he has NEVER divulged the one you tell about. Do you have any more???;)

    We love you Randall..........

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  6. Toni, you are absolutly right. Our leaders need all the HELP they can get, rather than all the CRITICISM.

    Randall, we trust that you are seeking help from the One who calls you; the One who created you; the One who has chosen you to do this work.

    ReplyDelete
  7. uh, can I still come over for supper tomorrow Rob??



    If not, then I take it back.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think Robyn is mistaken.



    I recall the event, but I really don't recall the broken arm. And, since I'm much more older than she is, and my memory would have been more clear, I think I'm right.



    SO YOU SHUT UP ROBYN!!!!!





    ReplyDelete
  9. lorazepam ativan...

    wxaa pii...

    ReplyDelete



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