Alright already...

Right, so this place has been a little silent as of late. I think I haven't wanted to come here and just be all negative, but I'm gettin old, so if I wait for a happy day, well, I may never write again!

And to be clear, the positive in these days have been the people connections I've had. Generally, ministry time and visiting time with people has been an encouraging thing.

I think most of my heaviness has come from stresses that add up.

I have about 5 major points of "Organizational stress" I'm facing right now. Organizational, administrative things I need to take care of, but they don't come easily to me, so they are points of major stress.

Trying to be present for my family, while my head is trying to carry that stress means that I'm short tempered and impatient when they surprise me with extra demands. I hate that I am like that.

Receiving word that a favorite uncle will soon be done his life on this planet, and he's only in his mid 60's.

And the cold. It's so cold right now. As one of my friends from America's south said to me the other day, "Why, oh why do people need to live in such a place...!" Which is a question I've been asking a long time.

I suppose the bigger question is why don't we just shut life down when it's so freaking cold. Why don't we close the stores and schools and stay in safe warm places drinking warm drinks and reading books.

The cold is a stress too. Manageable  when the other stresses of life are not to bad, but in times like these, well, death to the cold!

Then the cars. Last week the kids got to school and the car wouldn't shut off. So, the driver did what any sane high school student would do. She left it running and went into class! After the office noticed that great clouds of smoke and steam were pouring out from the hood, they called her down. To make a very long stressful story short, it involved me and a funeral, and a broken van in the shop, and just about some bad words, but we got it home, and running again.

This morning, it's -35C, before windchill, out there, and as I'm driving down the road, my brakes go away on me. No brakes. And tomorrow I need to be in Saskatoon.

To top it all off nicely, I spent four hours with my grade 5 son last night, trying to help him do his homework that he hadn't done all week and now was due the next day. After the stern discussion using plenty of the "fail" and "Grade 5" words over and over, we got at the work. What blew me away was that I was having a good deal of trouble doing the work. It was 4 pages of wordsearches for pete's sake. Easy peasy, but I couldn't do it. The word's were not included, so you had to find words in the maze of letters, but good grief, I thought I may have been having a stroke or something. So I sat there while he asked me, "Is such and such a word??" Later on, Lauralea came home and took one look at it and pointed out any number of words in it we had missed. If these kids didn't have her around, they'ed be in a class for the kids of challenged fathers.

Sigh. It's all just been getting the better of me. I'm waiting for it to get better, praying, hoping... It may just be the dead of winter thing, along with the cold, but it is getting the better of me I guess.

But I am still here, barely. Life continues on at seeming breakneck speed, and I am beginning to make choices more in line with my gifting and calling. To do the things that I do well, and leave the rest to others with those gifts.

So at least I am learning something. And the people stuff I do is going well, and it's an encouragement to me. And I'm enjoying having CBC Radio 2 on in the car and office. And spring is coming... not.

Let's not get carried away with too much positivism here eh.