Wednesday, January 21, 2004

splaining Tim's to Brad...

Brad comments:


So... tell me again about this thing that you Canadians have with Tim Horton. I went to his restaurant for breakfast (along with the rest of Calgary) and I'm still trying to figure out why everyone was there. Maybe it's patriotic to support the Canadian enterprise or maybe people are just so desperate to participate in Canadian hockey mythology...

P.S. Cute kid.

Well Brad, I'm not sure. The food isn't great and the coffee is real strong, which I like, but most complain about.


I think it had to do with the early 80's when people discovered they could buy cheap hot coffee and take it in their cars with them. This was a wonderful innovation, the two greatest things in the world, cars and coffee.


It was all the more wonderful up here in Canada where 7 months of the year are cold, so we saw this as a gift from the gods. Taking hot coffee into frozen cars.


Then, we needed something sweet because the coffee was so strong, and too hot to drink. Whereas the Americans drank their hot coffee, which burned their mouths and caused them fits of litigation, we less litigious Canadians thought, "Let's not stick our tongues into this hot stuff, let's stick sweet, icing coated, deep fried circles of dough into the coffee and then into our mouths."


That started the donut rolling.


Then there's the fact that Tim Horton was a Hockey Player which plays to the Canadian stereotypical sympathies. So there's a connection to the sports crowd there. You pick up a large double double on the way to the rink cause you've got to stand there for three hours in the howling wind watching the kid play minor minor league hockey, and you know your only friend is gonna be found in that tall brown paper cup.


And the fact that Tim Hortons raises lots of money to build camps for disabled kids. This brings in the people who have a soft spot for children, ... and campers.


Once a year Tim's runs a contest where you buy a coffee and roll up the rim to see if you've won cash, cars, houses, bikes etc.  This brings in the whole gambling contingent by the bus full. I've even watched as people opposed to gambling take their whole families out for an evening "coffee". And as their hands begin to shake and their eyes get wide, they roll up the rim to win ..... a cookie. Downer. 


"Over here, another round of coffee's please!! And make sure they're in the paper cups!"      


But, alas, this coffee even makes Canadians out of otherlanders. My friend Janet frequents this place often. She mixes her drinks.  I think she gets half coffee and half English Toffee, but that's ok she's only half Canadian, the other half is British. Anyway, she knows that Canadians are serious about their Tim's coffee and she's on her way to becoming a true Canadian. People already know better than to get between Janet and her coffee... stuff can happen, if you know what I mean.


 


So, there you go. That's my suspicion of what runs through the veins of your avarage Canadian. Tim Horton's coffee.


and thanks, the kid takes after me.


 

12 comments:

  1. English Toffee?



    I'l non comprende. Ich bin Oesteriecher.

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  2. What a post!!! A tribute to one of our lesser gods - amazing!

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  3. Tim who? I only know "Red Rose"....pitty.......

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  4. Toni:



    "Don't mention the war!"



    Faulty Towers.





    Linea:



    Hmm, that Tim's sign does look alot like an Asherath Pole...



    That same night the LORD said to him, "Take the second bull from your father's herd, the one seven years old. Tear down your father's altar to Baal and cut down the Asherah pole beside it."



    I guess we know what we need to do. I'll meet you at the pole...





    Sharon:



    "Only in Canada eh?"



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  5. Well, now, I've heard it said that the kid looks alot like me... I always tell him he has HIS father's ears and MY father's nose. Then I apologize. The top half of his head definitely comes from his mother.That's probably why he's so cute :)

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  6. If this is ssoooo Canadian...why does everyone have to roll their rrrr's when they "rrrroll up the rim to win" As a whole, not many Canadians roll their rrr's.

    Isnt that Scotish?

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  7. Wow -- what a response. But now I get it. It has to do with being cold for long periods of time or something like that.

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  8. If they're rolling their ars, it's because of too many burgers and doughnuts. Nothing to do with Scotland ;-)

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  9. I get it. Tim's is like Starbucks, but with Doughnuts. We need some of those in the Lower 48. (Tim Hortons, that is. NOT Starbucks.)

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  10. who needs any other donut place when you have Krispy Kremes? My good seminary friend's roommate waxed ad nauseum once about the veritable joys of Tim Hortons, but all the while I munched down my Krispy Kreme 1/2 dozen and thought, "this guy's clueless."

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  11. Truth be told, Tim's donuts have NOTHING on the KK donuts.



    When ever I'm in Chicago, I need to do a Krispy Kreme run at some point.



    Now, if anyone could combine the coffee of Tim Hortons and the Donuts of Krispy kreme, well then they must be the antichrist because the next stop would be world peace.



    !

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  12. I suppose it would be unpatriotic of me to mention that Tim Horton's, our beloved Canadian icon, is owned by Wendy's (they don't seem to mention that in their maple leaf waving TV commercials).

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