If I were being truthful

It's Monday, my day off. And like a sucker I am working.
At least I think I'm like a sucker. I think...

No, the church doesn't know I'm working, and the leadership doesn't know that I'm working. I think Lauralea suspects that I am working and has indicated so with a frowny face.

And I don't want to be working, but I am. That's just how it is.

There are some church families/individuals that need attention, and I don't really know how to help them. Some because they cannot really be helped, that's just the reality of life.

But still I am working at it, thinking, processing, trying, praying.
And I am not playing, laughing, resting, re-creating.

THAT really troubles me.
Why some people cannot/will not be helped, in spite of me or us or God even.
I can't just walk away from them. Maybe that's what makes me crazy.

Instead I work and pray to think up the words or language or a process that could maybe help them a little. Give them hope, lead them to life, give them a rope to hang on to.

I know I'm not their messiah, or even Messiah. I know that. It just really ticks me off that some lives fall away, people loose their hope, stories fail, because people are, what's the word, selfish? Stubborn? Fiercely independent?

Maybe I'm just tired that some thirty years into this gig, sometimes there are still people who can't be or won't be helped.

And maybe it scares me because I am one of the most selfish people I know.


The Fauzi Azar Inn, Nazareth

This was where we stayed when we were in Nazareth.

The Fauzi Azar Inn is a great place tucked away in the old city of Nazareth.


 

Meeting Hangover

Wow.
Big meeting hangover today.

Last night was our All Boards meeting when we all meet, so that we don't have to meet three or four times in the month.

A great idea, it's just very hard, good work that we do. Intense work. Brain dead work after we are done.

We are in the process of walking the congregation through a discernment process to see if we want to or need to build a new building. And boy that is an intense journey.

The process has been good so far, but we want it to continue to be good, so we agonize and pray over a good process.

Seems we only have this conversation every 50 plus years, so really we are on new ground with it.

But man does my head hurt this morning.


Off to ministerial meeting.

Robin Williams, is dead.

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS Las Vegas/AP) — He was the funniest guy in the room, something that made it all the harder for friends and fans to accept that beneath that reservoir of frenetic energy and seemingly endless good humor resided demons so dark they could push Robin Williams to suicide. It was no secret that the Oscar-winning actor had suffered for years from periodic bouts of substance abuse and depression — he made reference to it himself in his comedy routines. But word that he had killed himself Monday at his San Francisco Bay Area home left both friends in the Hollywood community and neighbors in the quiet neighborhood of Tiburon that he called home equally stunned and grief-stricken. “It was so sudden and he was such a great guy and it’s such a loss to the whole community,” said Daniel Jennings who lived across the street from Williams in the quiet neighborhood where the actor was often seen riding his bike and stopping to talk to neighbors. One thing he never did, residents said, was act like a celebrity. “He was really nice to all the neighbors,” Daniels said. “Really appreciated his kindness.”

The surprise news came out yesterday that one of America's better actors had taken his own life. Many who knew him in the roles he played or by the shows he appeared on, were caught by surprise. Why would such a talented and gifted individual do that?

Why indeed, is what the world asks.

We hear and discover that life wasn't that simple for the artist. Struggles with addictions and depression left him vulnerable. Tiredness with it all wore him out. Until yesterday when he had had enough it seems.

With people who are public individuals we think we know them through TV or movies or music. Even on a lesser platform, we think we know people through their writings, blogs, and photos. Similarly when it's our neighbour who takes their life we realize that we really didn't know them, or their struggle. The truth is that we never really knew them. We didn't know their struggles or pain.

It might be impossible to know distant public figures, but it's not impossible to know your neighbour. It seems as though Robin Williams was a good neighbour, but was he known, really?

Maybe his death should be a motivation for us to really know the few people around us. Maybe we should look up from our phones, and take time and the interest to really know the people around us. To choose to care and love them. To get to know them, really.

Maybe then this great loss can bring some life to us and to this increasingly fragmented world in which we live.